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(no subject)
May. 8th, 2010 | 03:29 pm
mood: 
drained
I (hopefully) graduate soon. I have about 5 weeks to finish off this project and I still can't get motivated enough to have a proper go at it -.-
god help me if I were actaully doing something academic! Then again I do actually miss the feeling of LEARNING something and finding out new things. Perhaps if I were doing something more academic I'd be used to hard work, writing and serious deadlines. This course is too laid back and they don't really seem to care, which does not go well with my own laid back attitude. Nevertheless I'm still here! I haven't failed anything yet, though my dissertation result wasn't good at all. Really wishing they'd put the elective results online cos I'm so anxious! That was the best project I've ever done and I was so proud of it. It's so dissheartening to find out that your friends, whose work looked so good to you, who you thought would probably end up with a higher mark than you, only get a 3rd or a 2.2 at best...
It's making me worry about what my own mark is. It was the first fully 3D piece of work I've made and I was really pleased with it. I'll find out on Monday I suppose.
I also had something weird happen lately. I had a pregnancy scare recently and normally I wouldnt be too worried because in my head I always think there's probably only a 5% chance I'm actually pregnant, with the circumstances and all. But I was a week late so I told my mam that I was gonna get a test and this is what suprised me. She said to not let anyone know I was pregnant until 3 months in and that it's good I'd be graduating soon and that I was in a happy, commited relationship. She said Amir won't be too happy because he'd want me to be married first but that she would be so excited... She was talking to me as if I would keep the baby. Now normally, say before I thought I was pregnant, I'd automatically say yes I'd have an abortion. But at that time, when I thought I really could be bearing a child, I felt like I couldn't give it up. I already had the thought of "well what if this is my only chance to have a child", "what if I gave it up and then couldn't get pregnant in the future". I'd hate myself so much. These thoughts along with the suprising approval from my mam compeletly changed my views. I've never really thought of having a child in all seriousness, I always thought I was too selfish. I've talked with Ryan about it and he said he'd be so happy if we had a child. It's so scary because I still think of myself as quite young and really, I don't want to have a child at this point in my life. But for the first time, I actually felt some slight disappointment when the test read negative... It's for the best though in the end.
My uterus is now reminding me of it's existance, thank you uterus! Better late than never!
I also need to start being more healthy again. For a good few months now I've just been snacking on crap and drinking loads of alcohol. I keep getting small bursts of depression which I blame on this new "lifestyle" I've developed. I need to get back at the gym or something because, even though I've not put more than a couple of lbs on, I'm very unfit right now. I need a summer of fitness and healthy eating as well as getting myself a part time job to save up for my PGCE and maths GCSE classes.
My mouth tastes nasty and I'm full of pains so I'm going to stop writing..... now!
god help me if I were actaully doing something academic! Then again I do actually miss the feeling of LEARNING something and finding out new things. Perhaps if I were doing something more academic I'd be used to hard work, writing and serious deadlines. This course is too laid back and they don't really seem to care, which does not go well with my own laid back attitude. Nevertheless I'm still here! I haven't failed anything yet, though my dissertation result wasn't good at all. Really wishing they'd put the elective results online cos I'm so anxious! That was the best project I've ever done and I was so proud of it. It's so dissheartening to find out that your friends, whose work looked so good to you, who you thought would probably end up with a higher mark than you, only get a 3rd or a 2.2 at best...
It's making me worry about what my own mark is. It was the first fully 3D piece of work I've made and I was really pleased with it. I'll find out on Monday I suppose.
I also had something weird happen lately. I had a pregnancy scare recently and normally I wouldnt be too worried because in my head I always think there's probably only a 5% chance I'm actually pregnant, with the circumstances and all. But I was a week late so I told my mam that I was gonna get a test and this is what suprised me. She said to not let anyone know I was pregnant until 3 months in and that it's good I'd be graduating soon and that I was in a happy, commited relationship. She said Amir won't be too happy because he'd want me to be married first but that she would be so excited... She was talking to me as if I would keep the baby. Now normally, say before I thought I was pregnant, I'd automatically say yes I'd have an abortion. But at that time, when I thought I really could be bearing a child, I felt like I couldn't give it up. I already had the thought of "well what if this is my only chance to have a child", "what if I gave it up and then couldn't get pregnant in the future". I'd hate myself so much. These thoughts along with the suprising approval from my mam compeletly changed my views. I've never really thought of having a child in all seriousness, I always thought I was too selfish. I've talked with Ryan about it and he said he'd be so happy if we had a child. It's so scary because I still think of myself as quite young and really, I don't want to have a child at this point in my life. But for the first time, I actually felt some slight disappointment when the test read negative... It's for the best though in the end.
My uterus is now reminding me of it's existance, thank you uterus! Better late than never!
I also need to start being more healthy again. For a good few months now I've just been snacking on crap and drinking loads of alcohol. I keep getting small bursts of depression which I blame on this new "lifestyle" I've developed. I need to get back at the gym or something because, even though I've not put more than a couple of lbs on, I'm very unfit right now. I need a summer of fitness and healthy eating as well as getting myself a part time job to save up for my PGCE and maths GCSE classes.
My mouth tastes nasty and I'm full of pains so I'm going to stop writing..... now!
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don't you just love "friends"?
Nov. 8th, 2009 | 04:21 pm
mood: 
crazy
So you're probably thinking I've had another fall out with someone or whatever, but I haven't, I've just had alot of time to think. Life for me is going great right now. I'm in love, I have the bestest friend ever, uni is almost over and I'm going to Disneyland for a week.
So whyyyy am I about to rant?
I just feel like it, okay? :P
I don't have any friends at uni anymore. Sure I talk to the odd couple of people but I don't hang out with them or anything. Too much shit happened in first year which I don't want to and can't be bothered to explain. Unlike some petty little cow, I don't go telling people my life story to make them feel sorry for me. But her and her pathetic, ever so loyal puppet aren't exactly having the best time in the world right now. Thank you karma :)
Girls are so bitchy aren't they? Stealing eachother's boyfriends.. and girlsfriends. I'll admit I'm guilty of that myself, except I was never friends with this girl to begin with. I'm talking about someone else trying to steal someone's girlfriend. Now what's hilarious, is these two seem to be the best of friends. Hah. Girl A who was friends with Girl B has a crush on Girl C, who is going out with Girl B. Girl B knows all about it but does nothing. Girl B fights with her girlfriend about it and still nothing happens. When they break up, Girl B is suddenly great friends with Girl A, even though Girl B previously bitched to hell about how much she hated Girl A and how she'd never speak to her again. This still continues today.
Then we get the people who lie to us about the silly things. You know, like not turning up to someone's party even though they said right up to the last minute that they'd go. Only for us to call them and have them say, they "don't feel well". Such a shame. Funny how they do seem well enough to update their status and get tagged in photos from a different party they were at on this same night. Facebook is evil, no?
I'm not exactly innocent myself. I think there's only one person I've not said a bad word about, never bitched about and never fallen out with. She knows who she is too :)
We don't do the whole, "omgz love you" *hugs*, we don't smother eachother with the whole lovely dovey crap which seems so fake either. Yes we hug, yes we talk to eachother about everything and we know that when we need someone to be comforted by that we'll be there for eachother. Our friendship is so strong because we know when we need the hugs and when we need our own space. You're probably thinking we sound really dull but if you knew us, you'd see just how weird and hyper we actually get. We make ourselves scared by watching old horrors after drinking too much wine and fall in love with men in drag. It is wonderful :)
My boyfriend is great too but his mother is being really shit lately. It's almost as if she's jealous that I'm taking her son away =/ urgh.
I'm going to be really nerdy and meet the people I play WoW with in real life, hah! Mell is coming with me too as I've recently got her into the game :P It's all good though, I'm still alive.
I'm going to leave it at that as I smell chicken! Baiiii xx
So whyyyy am I about to rant?
I just feel like it, okay? :P
I don't have any friends at uni anymore. Sure I talk to the odd couple of people but I don't hang out with them or anything. Too much shit happened in first year which I don't want to and can't be bothered to explain. Unlike some petty little cow, I don't go telling people my life story to make them feel sorry for me. But her and her pathetic, ever so loyal puppet aren't exactly having the best time in the world right now. Thank you karma :)
Girls are so bitchy aren't they? Stealing eachother's boyfriends.. and girlsfriends. I'll admit I'm guilty of that myself, except I was never friends with this girl to begin with. I'm talking about someone else trying to steal someone's girlfriend. Now what's hilarious, is these two seem to be the best of friends. Hah. Girl A who was friends with Girl B has a crush on Girl C, who is going out with Girl B. Girl B knows all about it but does nothing. Girl B fights with her girlfriend about it and still nothing happens. When they break up, Girl B is suddenly great friends with Girl A, even though Girl B previously bitched to hell about how much she hated Girl A and how she'd never speak to her again. This still continues today.
Then we get the people who lie to us about the silly things. You know, like not turning up to someone's party even though they said right up to the last minute that they'd go. Only for us to call them and have them say, they "don't feel well". Such a shame. Funny how they do seem well enough to update their status and get tagged in photos from a different party they were at on this same night. Facebook is evil, no?
I'm not exactly innocent myself. I think there's only one person I've not said a bad word about, never bitched about and never fallen out with. She knows who she is too :)
We don't do the whole, "omgz love you" *hugs*, we don't smother eachother with the whole lovely dovey crap which seems so fake either. Yes we hug, yes we talk to eachother about everything and we know that when we need someone to be comforted by that we'll be there for eachother. Our friendship is so strong because we know when we need the hugs and when we need our own space. You're probably thinking we sound really dull but if you knew us, you'd see just how weird and hyper we actually get. We make ourselves scared by watching old horrors after drinking too much wine and fall in love with men in drag. It is wonderful :)
My boyfriend is great too but his mother is being really shit lately. It's almost as if she's jealous that I'm taking her son away =/ urgh.
I'm going to be really nerdy and meet the people I play WoW with in real life, hah! Mell is coming with me too as I've recently got her into the game :P It's all good though, I'm still alive.
I'm going to leave it at that as I smell chicken! Baiiii xx
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haven't had one of these in a while, it wasn't even in my spam box
Sep. 3rd, 2009 | 01:40 pm
From: "cameron figueroa" <cameronfigueroa80pq@gmail.com> Save Addresses
To: celesteayanami@fsmail.net ; celesteazul@yahoo.com ; celesteazul_trujillo@hotmail.com ; celesteb1214@aol.com ; celesteb1989@yahoo.com ; celesteb76@yahoo.com ; celesteb9@aol.com ; celesteb@coj.net ; celesteb@dolphingraphix.net ; celesteb@ev1.net
Date: Aug 31 2009, 04:55 PM
Subject: I wish meet with you. I am from Russia Show full header
Return-Path: <cameronfigueroa80pq@gmail.com>
Subject: I wish meet with you. I am from Russia
How are you there?I am Mia
I found your e-mail address on the Internet dating agency.
I am 25 years old
beautiful and nice girl.
It is interesting to know something about you.
I wanna know you
Reply to my my mail: Longhair7795@rambler.ru
I will send my photos :)
To: celesteayanami@fsmail.net ; celesteazul@yahoo.com ; celesteazul_trujillo@hotmail.com ; celesteb1214@aol.com ; celesteb1989@yahoo.com ; celesteb76@yahoo.com ; celesteb9@aol.com ; celesteb@coj.net ; celesteb@dolphingraphix.net ; celesteb@ev1.net
Date: Aug 31 2009, 04:55 PM
Subject: I wish meet with you. I am from Russia Show full header
Return-Path: <cameronfigueroa80pq@gmail.com>
Subject: I wish meet with you. I am from Russia
How are you there?I am Mia
I found your e-mail address on the Internet dating agency.
I am 25 years old
beautiful and nice girl.
It is interesting to know something about you.
I wanna know you
Reply to my my mail: Longhair7795@rambler.ru
I will send my photos :)
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Haven't updated in quite a long time
Aug. 10th, 2009 | 12:31 pm
mood: 
curious
stuff has been great lately, birthday was mint! Can't believe I'm no longer a teen though D:
I'm still with Ryan, it's been almost 8 months :) my longest relationship ever, haha! I normally get bored very early on.
I'm level 80 on WoW, totally shouldn't be pleased about that but ya know :p
I've also somehow become addicted to watching Maury, it's so much better than the Jeremy Kyle show! I live at Ryan's about 90% of the time and it's been brilliant for my stress, no Amir = a much happier Cel!
Ryan's mam is going on holiday for 2 weeks from the 17th too so I'm gonna be arranging some parties, muahahaha! But also, I'm getting Ryan to be more healthy cos I'm worried about him, he keeps having chest pains which can't be a good thing. So, I've been making stuff with quorn without telling him and he hasn't noticed, I've also said no to take aways and such and we've replaced white pasta and rice with wholemeal and brown :) it's going wonderful.
Now, here's my big project. My last year at Uni is coming up and I get to make up my project brief entirely. So, I'm going to create an animated TV series. I don't actually HAVE to animate it, just have a pitch. I'm thinking story boards, character designs, backgrounds, an entire script written for the pilot episode and maybe some animation tests such as walk cycles and exaggeration.
I'd like you to help me out with what you like about cartoons. What amuses you, what do you find funny, what makes you want to watch a certain cartoon? Should it be a comedy, adventure, scary or sci-fi series? Or a mixture?
You can include ideas for how the characters should look, their personalities and what kind of story you like and/or are interested in.
Thank you :)
I'm still with Ryan, it's been almost 8 months :) my longest relationship ever, haha! I normally get bored very early on.
I'm level 80 on WoW, totally shouldn't be pleased about that but ya know :p
I've also somehow become addicted to watching Maury, it's so much better than the Jeremy Kyle show! I live at Ryan's about 90% of the time and it's been brilliant for my stress, no Amir = a much happier Cel!
Ryan's mam is going on holiday for 2 weeks from the 17th too so I'm gonna be arranging some parties, muahahaha! But also, I'm getting Ryan to be more healthy cos I'm worried about him, he keeps having chest pains which can't be a good thing. So, I've been making stuff with quorn without telling him and he hasn't noticed, I've also said no to take aways and such and we've replaced white pasta and rice with wholemeal and brown :) it's going wonderful.
Now, here's my big project. My last year at Uni is coming up and I get to make up my project brief entirely. So, I'm going to create an animated TV series. I don't actually HAVE to animate it, just have a pitch. I'm thinking story boards, character designs, backgrounds, an entire script written for the pilot episode and maybe some animation tests such as walk cycles and exaggeration.
I'd like you to help me out with what you like about cartoons. What amuses you, what do you find funny, what makes you want to watch a certain cartoon? Should it be a comedy, adventure, scary or sci-fi series? Or a mixture?
You can include ideas for how the characters should look, their personalities and what kind of story you like and/or are interested in.
Thank you :)
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BOOBIE
May. 22nd, 2009 | 07:15 pm
mood: crazy
Hai!
I'm sitting at Ryan's computer right now as he's at work and I've just got back from Newcastle.
I'm staying here for a week because the family are on holiday -nod-
Pokemon Platinum came out today, woohoo! I got it with a new DS for only £89! (mine broke last week :[ I dropped it and now the top screen doesn't work) I've started with a Piplup but he will soon be replaced because the new starters are ghey.
I bumped into Stacie and Dom today so we went and had lunch at Chiquitos in the metrocenter and had fajitas, NOM! Then I went shopping for summer tops and some short shorts for working out on the Wii fit, which I bought yesterday ^_^ it's gonna stay at Ryans so he can use it too and because I mostly live here now, haha.
Ryan's mam has just left and won't be back til the morning but Ryan doesn't finish work til 10pm, hmph. I am boredz and full of energy but can't leave the house as I don't have a key to lock up! More Pokemanz and Wii fittness are in order I think.
Bai!
xx
p.s. my spelling has become DREADFUL over the past few weeks =/ hmph
I'm sitting at Ryan's computer right now as he's at work and I've just got back from Newcastle.
I'm staying here for a week because the family are on holiday -nod-
Pokemon Platinum came out today, woohoo! I got it with a new DS for only £89! (mine broke last week :[ I dropped it and now the top screen doesn't work) I've started with a Piplup but he will soon be replaced because the new starters are ghey.
I bumped into Stacie and Dom today so we went and had lunch at Chiquitos in the metrocenter and had fajitas, NOM! Then I went shopping for summer tops and some short shorts for working out on the Wii fit, which I bought yesterday ^_^ it's gonna stay at Ryans so he can use it too and because I mostly live here now, haha.
Ryan's mam has just left and won't be back til the morning but Ryan doesn't finish work til 10pm, hmph. I am boredz and full of energy but can't leave the house as I don't have a key to lock up! More Pokemanz and Wii fittness are in order I think.
Bai!
xx
p.s. my spelling has become DREADFUL over the past few weeks =/ hmph
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Writer's Block: Looking Back
Apr. 14th, 2009 | 05:06 pm
"christmas
Dec. 26th, 2004 | 08:50 pm
mood: giddy
music: chobits theme tune "let me be with you"
hehehe, I'm so happy!!! :D:D:D:D:D I got Chobits on DVD!! the whole series!!!!!! :D it contains 3 discs whoch last 10 hours long, i was watching it yesturday and i still havent gotten through the first disc yet, lol. I also got the complete Sailor Moon series which also rocks, man their skirts are short : P lol oooooo and i got all the chobits figures which are sooo cute, hehehe, im such a little kid, lol. I want to go clothe shopping sometime soon tho cos A) I NEED a corset (there so shexeh) B) I NEED a PVC skirt or dress and apart from clothes i NEED to buy that 18 inch tall Edward Scissorhands doll *drools* its so detailed : P it costs like £35 tho : / meh, i should have enough, lol
oh well, bye byez
xXx"
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haven't updated in a while
Mar. 23rd, 2009 | 01:05 am
things are going really nicely for me atm.
there are shite moments but the good times totally make up for them.
shite moments being the typical amir stuff but that is much less now simply because I'm only at home about 2 nights a week, haha.
me and ryan are still happy together and I hope we continue to be :)
uni is almost over but I really can't stand it. my course is so boring and draining. I'm actually at the point where I HATE drawing. ball suckage
I've noticed I haven't written in here for a while, but that's because I'm normally depressed or in some crap mood when I do.
so that can only be a good thing right? I'm so much happier now than I have been in a very long time. this is the point where I'd normally say, "now I'm just waiting for something bad to happen", but I'm not going to :) I love my life right now.
I do miss Mell though, things haven't been the same around here :(
I started writing this because I was in a meh mood. it'll only be that it's close to that time of the month and for the past week I've been eating nothing but haribo and drinking rockstar to keep awake to finish my uni work. also, on friday I went to carlisle with ryan and rachel to see rachels girlfriend and so we stayed out drinking all night. not only that, me and ryan then went to newcastle last night for kassandras birthday, so yes, I am very much lacking in sleep and sanity right now.
I'm in one of those pointless sad moods where I'll be completely fine in the morning.
Pokemon Platinum is out, woo! buying it tomorrow, niiight :)
xx
there are shite moments but the good times totally make up for them.
shite moments being the typical amir stuff but that is much less now simply because I'm only at home about 2 nights a week, haha.
me and ryan are still happy together and I hope we continue to be :)
uni is almost over but I really can't stand it. my course is so boring and draining. I'm actually at the point where I HATE drawing. ball suckage
I've noticed I haven't written in here for a while, but that's because I'm normally depressed or in some crap mood when I do.
so that can only be a good thing right? I'm so much happier now than I have been in a very long time. this is the point where I'd normally say, "now I'm just waiting for something bad to happen", but I'm not going to :) I love my life right now.
I do miss Mell though, things haven't been the same around here :(
I started writing this because I was in a meh mood. it'll only be that it's close to that time of the month and for the past week I've been eating nothing but haribo and drinking rockstar to keep awake to finish my uni work. also, on friday I went to carlisle with ryan and rachel to see rachels girlfriend and so we stayed out drinking all night. not only that, me and ryan then went to newcastle last night for kassandras birthday, so yes, I am very much lacking in sleep and sanity right now.
I'm in one of those pointless sad moods where I'll be completely fine in the morning.
Pokemon Platinum is out, woo! buying it tomorrow, niiight :)
xx
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I made a twitter account
Feb. 12th, 2009 | 11:33 am
get adding =]
CelesteAyanami
xx
CelesteAyanami
xx
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short story
Dec. 21st, 2008 | 10:24 am
mood: 
satisfied
penis is awesome
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examples of the lols
Dec. 7th, 2008 | 05:59 pm
mood: 
amused
read the bottom comment first, then the top
Mell enjoyed commenting after riff-raff and I enjoyed Mells comments =)
Mell-New ..
19 Sep 2006 22:54
Riff Raff and his days! You say he is 'wack', I agree.
Milburn's..
19 Sep 2006 22:40
Yeahhh I'm okayy thanks
Tiredness is always an issue these days
Damn days...
Soo much new these.. days?
xx
Mell-New ..
24 Aug 2006 19:42
PUBERTY!
Milburn's..
24 Aug 2006 19:04
Pretty much the same really :P
Doing vertually nothing at all makes it all the more painful to sit through ¬_¬
XxX
Mell-New ..
17 Aug 2006 20:45
That milburn guy is WHACK!
Hahaha. We're funny.
Milburn's..
17 Aug 2006 20:39
It's on the song I'm listening to
:)
Plus I'm fond of..well ya know
..Fondness..?
..Ahem
Mell-New ..
18 Nov 2006 21:07
Your face is a gay elephant!
Milburn's..
18 Nov 2006 19:33
Saw you today!
Heh..
x
Mell enjoyed commenting after riff-raff and I enjoyed Mells comments =)
Mell-New ..
19 Sep 2006 22:54
Riff Raff and his days! You say he is 'wack', I agree.
Milburn's..
19 Sep 2006 22:40
Yeahhh I'm okayy thanks
Tiredness is always an issue these days
Damn days...
Soo much new these.. days?
xx
Mell-New ..
24 Aug 2006 19:42
PUBERTY!
Milburn's..
24 Aug 2006 19:04
Pretty much the same really :P
Doing vertually nothing at all makes it all the more painful to sit through ¬_¬
XxX
Mell-New ..
17 Aug 2006 20:45
That milburn guy is WHACK!
Hahaha. We're funny.
Milburn's..
17 Aug 2006 20:39
It's on the song I'm listening to
:)
Plus I'm fond of..well ya know
..Fondness..?
..Ahem
Mell-New ..
18 Nov 2006 21:07
Your face is a gay elephant!
Milburn's..
18 Nov 2006 19:33
Saw you today!
Heh..
x
